Lin Jing felt a slight urge to laugh at her own dark humor. When she realized the person she wanted to amuse hadn't laughed, but she herself had, it seemed a bit inappropriate. She pressed her lips together firmly, stifling her laughter.
Sheng Kuang on the other end of the phone said nothing.
Lin Jing adjusted her earphone, cleared her throat, and spoke again, "I'm not trying to cheer you up."
"Being an exchange student wasn't my intention. I just wanted to make..." Lin Jing paused, swallowing the word "Mom" that was at the tip of her tongue. "...others happy."
She had never imagined there would come a day when she would describe Jiang Wan as "others."
The last time Jiang Wan said she was coming to Bj and then stood her up, her indifferent attitude shattered the last shred of her illusion about her.
Some time had passed since then. During this period, partly out of spite, Lin Jing hadn't contacted Jiang Wan, and Jiang Wan hadn't contacted her either.
They should have been the closest two people in the world, yet they had become more distant than strangers.
Suppressing her self-mockery, Lin Jing paused for two seconds and continued, "As for myself, I wasn't particularly eager to go either."
"How should I put it? You know, like in those families with mines, where a child's life is already planned out from birth, and no one ever asks the child if it's the life they want."
Lin Jing wasn't sure if it was her own issue. Perhaps it was because she suddenly thought of Jiang Wan, but she felt her current state was a bit melodramatic. After saying this, she felt a bit uneasy. She swallowed and let out a slow "ah." To cover her discomfort, she pretended to be carefree and added, "Of course, I'm not saying my family has mines. I'm just using it as an analogy. Speaking of mines, your brother Kuang's family has the mines."
Lin Jing felt that the last sentence was quite catchy and couldn't help but chuckle. "I think that line is pretty good. You should consider making a support sign for Brother Kuang's family when you compete in a few days."
Sheng Kuang also laughed, "Okay, I'll listen to you. I'll tell Wenzi tomorrow."
"Haha, okay." Lin Jing paused, then added, "Remember to make it gold."
"Mhm, okay."
"And don't forget to save one support sign for me, the creative mastermind."
"No problem, creative mastermind."
They chatted for a while, and Lin Jing checked the time. "Well, I'm going to take a shower and rest now."
"Mhm, go ahead." Sheng Kuang paused, then said, "Goodnight."
Lin Jing replied, "Goodnight," and was about to hang up when she hesitated. She couldn't help but say, "Don't put too much pressure on yourself, okay?"
Sheng Kuang: "Mhm?"
Lin Jing explained, "I mean, don't overthink it about me giving up being an exchange student."
Sheng Kuang realized what she meant and let out an annoyed "tsk," "Are you doing this on purpose?"
Lin Jing, who had intended to comfort him a little more, stopped short. "...Huh?"
Sheng Kuang chuckled a couple of times, and with a hint of sarcasm, continued, "On purpose to remind me how narcissistic I was just now."
Lin Jing: "..."
After hanging up, Lin Jing took a shower. When she came out, she sat at the table to blow-dry her hair. As she was drying it, she stopped, holding the hairdryer still.
She thought of what Sheng Kuang had said before hanging up.
Although it sounded like self-deprecation, she could still detect a hint of loss and pitiableness beneath the sarcasm.
Lin Jing let out a laugh, blinked, and continued blow-drying her hair. When it was almost dry, she squeezed some hair oil and slowly applied it to the ends of her hair. During this process, her gaze kept drifting to her phone.
After about five or six glances, she suddenly raised her hand, pulled out two wet wipes from a nearby box, quickly wiped off the residual oil between her fingers, and picked up her phone.
Xiao Jing Jiang: Still just a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny bit...
Xiao Jing Jiang: Moved?
miracle: A little.
Xiao Jing Jiang: A little? That little with twelve "tiny"s?
miracle: Not really, I am quite moved. Fewer than twelve "tiny"s.
miracle: But, there is one thing that is twelve "tiny"s.
Xiao Jing Jiang: What is it?
miracle: Miss you.
miracle: Just suddenly, have a little, little, little, little bit.
miracle: A lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of missing you.