Chapter 253: See the shrink.
Alfred sat on the bench, his hands dangling between his knees. His gaze fixed on the floor, but his ears were listening to the women that were talking. He had his own opinions on the people that they had saved.
Part of him wished they had left them trapped in the rubble. It did not matter that Nusra had loved ones that had been trapped as well. They were no good because none tried to help her when they were running from the eagles.
His eyes drifted to Nusra’s remaining leg. Alfred knew that if they had left town hall just the two of them, she would have two legs. Having a missing leg in an apocalypse was like being blind in the middle of a lion’s den.
At any time, death would call your name.
In a situation where running was required, Nusra would be at a disadvantage. "You should have listened to me back then. You would not have lost your leg if we didn’t play good Samaritans." He suddenly said.
It was not the first time he was saying those words. No matter how many times Nusra told him that she did not regret helping, he did not buy her words.
He blamed himself for the whole mess. He was the one that suggested they save the others in the first place.
"Alfred, I have told you that I really don’t regret it. Not everyone that we saved was bad. Do you truly regret what we did?" Nusra asked, her brows pulled close to each other.
"I regret it every single day." Alfred answered, lifting his eyes to meet hers. "Most of the so called good ones only stopped to help when they were safe behind the soldiers. They never came back outside to help those that had fallen in the snow or the team fighting the eagles we brought to the base. I should have left them underground."
Across from him, the women exchanged glances of worry. The cold in Alfred’s words and tone was prominent.
Sunshine had never seen him carrying such hatred and anger. It surprised her.
Nusra’s eyes softened because she understood where he was coming from but none the less, she did not want him to become jaded by a single disappointment. "Do not let this new world make you hard."
"Are you not angry? He raised his voice. "You lost a damn leg!"
Nusra shook her head. "But at least I am alive....listen you cannot focus on the negatives only. We are living in an apocalypse the world has turned upside down. Should it really surprise us that people are putting their safety ahead of others?
I hate what they did but I understand the reason why they did it. This does not mean I have forgiven them and I will not be forgetting their choice any time soon.
I have little regrets but at least I know that I did not leave my family to die. Now, I don’t owe them anything anymore and I will not live my life with guilt."
"Just one leg." Alfred muttered.
Nusra sighed. The leg thing was really affecting Alfred more than her. If he could donate his leg to her, he would probably have done it already. The kind of guilt and anger he was carrying around was not going to go away with a pep talk.
She looked at Sunshine with eyes that sough help--any help that could be given.
Sunshine pressed her brows hear together as a frown came over, accompanied by something that made her curious. "Alfred have you been to see Dr. Crawford?"
"Who is that?" Alfred asked.
From the question, Sunshine knew that he had not spoken to the shrink she recommended the doctors send him to. If he continued to think the way he was and carry such anger, he would become a danger to himself and others.
A superhuman with anger issues was a real walking time bomb. And Alfred was a pyrokinetic so his anger was dangerous. She knew first hand the pain of a pyrokinetics fire.
It hurt like gallons of acid being poured on the skin while ants bit away at the body from the inside.
Sunshine sighed. How did he not know? "She is the best psychologist we have on the base."
Alfred’s brows shot up. "You mean she is a shrink and you want me to see her."
"Yes." Sunshine answered. "Everyone that has been through a traumatic experience like you did must see one of the psychologists on the base. I recommended her for you because she is the best. I don’t know why none of the doctors mentioned it to you."
"They did and I am telling you the same thing I told them, I am fine." Alfred said, his expression serious. "I don’t need a shrink."
Still stubborn I see, Sunshine thought. "I remember that you asked me for a job. If you still want to work then get clearance from Dr. Crawford or spend the rest of your years sleeping and eating until the apocalypse ends." She paused and looked at him sternly. "And if you get put of control and burn someone or put this base in danger, I will not hesitate to kick you out. And I mean that Alfred."
Alfred looked at Nimo.
Nimo shrugged.
Sunshine excused herself and wished Nusra a good a day.
"Just go and see the damn doctor Alfred!"
After she walked out of the room, Sunshine heard Nimo shouting this to her brother.
Footsteps came from behind her and she thought it was Nimo but it was Alfred.
"Suni." He tugged on her arm.
Sunshine gently pulled it back to her side. "Anything else you need to say?"
Alfred hesitated, then let out a laugh of unease. "What the hell happened to you? You are different, hard, decisive and dare I say ruthless."
"Look around you." She answered in a clipped tone. "We are not living in a peaceful world. I cannot run my base on affections and friendship. Safety has always been the goal of this base and I will not spare anything or anyone that affects that."
Alfred nodded, he was finally getting the memo that she was serious. The apocalypse had changed all of them. This Sunshine was not his Sunshine, she was a different person.
"Okay. I will see the shrink." He surrendered. "How is the boy? Nimo tells me he is sick."
Sunshine drew her head back slightly. "The boy?" She asked. "You mean my youngest son?"
Alfred nodded.
"Castiel is fine, thank you for asking." Sunshine said, resuming her walk.
"I would like to say hello, introduce myself to the kids." Alfred followed her. "Uncle Alfie...the fun uncle."
Sunshine halted her steps. "Maybe another time, you should go back and take care of Nusra."
"She is just a friend." Alfred quickly said.
"I do not care what she is to you Alfred. And I will not mind if she is more than a friend." Sunshine raised her hand to show off her ring. "I am a happily married woman, mark the word happy." She tapped him on the arm. "Find your own happiness Uncle Alfie."
She walked away, leaving him frozen.
Alfred watched her figure turning into a blur. Questions scrolled in his mind. Have i lost her? Have I really lost her this time round? He asked himself.
Sunshine was his greatest love. He had never loved any woman the way he loved her. He always thought that no matter how far apart they drifted, they would come back together.
He thought that she would not be happy with Hades after all, his sister had said it was an arranged marriage.
But she was happy and content.
Where did that leave him and his love and dreams for them?