Chapter 583: Chapter 583
"... Try to recall?"
"Y-yes! It is hard to t-tell b-but I did it all, right?? If I try-"
"What do you mean ’try’!? Why do you act like you don’t know?!! You cannot just simply not know!" — I yelled out of frustration. Infuriated at the desperate hope in her confused eyes. — "How can you... not know...?"
"!... My lady..."
"... I..."
"... It’s enough for now. I’m leaving." — Fed up with this come and go, I decided. Not wanting to see any more of this farfetched scene.
"?! S-sister! W-wait! I-"
"What? Are you plotting another lie? You should at least remember what I told you at that cabin. I won’t make that mistake, Theressa. I gave you a chance but you only try to twist my hand again and again. Nothing of what you say even makes sense!"
"!? N-no, I was not...! S-sister, I am not lying, please...! Hate myself... yet truly, I was not lying, sniff... m-my memories fail me, but... I-I wanted to get you out of there, I swear...! I-... I w-wanted to love you like I’ve truly wanted, sister... I wanted to free you... to save you from Paul’s hands..."
"... to love me? You said this yesterday as well... but now not only that, you say you wanted to save and free myself???"
"D-did I say that...? T-then... is it alright? I am not lying..."
"?" — Unable to understand what she thought was alright, I only frowned, looking at how her extended hand had reached mine to make me stay a little longer. Making her lower her head as I felt the cold of her palm try to hold me with a careful grasp.
"S-saying that... I regret not loving you... Is it alright for myself to say it...?"
"I don’t know what you mean by that... it’s not an odd occurrence since this is the way you are. I have had enough of this senseless talk."
I had hit my limits. It was possible that if I stayed longer the more confused I would become when my instincts yelled at me that I should look more into this. That her attitude was clearly because of what the fairies had said yesterday... but it felt odd for me to give in to reasons this easily.
"Ah! D-don’t! S-sister don’t leave! If not now... when can I tell you how much I-!? Ah!!"
"Don’t shout! Behave unless you want to get punished!"
"That’s right! Kick her guard!! She never shuts up!! We can’t sleep!! Drug her or kill her!! We don’t want a crying woman around!!!"
’I am hesitating. I don’t like it...’ — I thought, unable to get her tears out of my head while I heard the other prisoners yell, annoyed at Theressa’s behaviour... overwhelmed by the thud I heard after I left the place. — ’She’s not that child anymore... none of us are children anymore... be it because of the soiled soul or whatever, it’s not sane for me to forget it all just because of it... I cannot do that...’
— I regret not loving you... —
"... hf..."
"... My lady, are you alright?" — Stopping by my side after I suddenly could not give another step, Zeleskiaz softly asked myself, cautious of the surroundings where thankfully only a torch joined us.
"... No... I am not alright, Your Highness. My head rings alarmed... it is a mess..."
"... her behaviour was unexpected. It is only natural."
"Yes, but... sigh... perhaps we should not talk about this here. There are some things... that do not add up to myself."
"... Once at the palace, we may find a time to converse about this better." — He said, knowing that I was not ready to speak when in truth my mind was in anguish... knowing that this place wouldn’t be kind. — "Be at ease, my lady... if you consider these things properly you will eventually find an answer to your conflict."
"I am slightly... bothered to learn the answer if I am to be honest, haha... Yet I thank you again, for your patience, your highness. I am aware this is not pleasant for yourself to bear. I am also taking time of your day when I know you must be busy."
"It would be worse if I had not been allowed to be by your side, my lady." — Caressing the hand he had taken when reaching out to me, his gaze melted some of my distress with its sweet violet. Stroking my skin as I lowered my head ashamed of how nice his words and essence were while contradictions invaded me. Sad and helpless... feeling stupid for yearning to believe a dream. — "These meetings have been difficult. It is apparent... be it in your spirit or glint... Therefore, take your time so it will not unsettle your spirit further than needed... otherwise..."
"?... Otherwise?"
His stare felt like temptation as he kept quiet. The play of his fingers, made my heart stammer in its heartbeats... I grew nervous about what it could be that this lovely yet dangerously seductive prince was not telling. Recalling as an excuse how we were still in prison, knowing this was not the time nor the place to let myself be swept by the love that melted my concerns away.
"W-we should go meet the warden. He might come to get us if we take longer..."
*******
The words he wanted to express found themselves stuck as he knew it was not a place to let his feelings be demonstrated.
His lady’s demeanour had been painted by gloom after conversing with a sister and knowledgable of the words exchanged... from what he heard the sisters tell... again his soul suffered to think of Marianne’s past days... bearing more hatred for the siblings that had harmed his beloved for so long without mercy.
’How to say it... when she is still this worried about them? How to say I will not stand by her side simply to see her struggle with the kindness they abuse?... How to tell her... that my spirit also becomes unsettled when I let her go through these hazards ... when I fairly can tell she would probably feel guilt about it?’ — Zeleskiaz contemplated after agreeing to her decision to leave the tower. Peeking at times her fair figure went up the stairs, slowly, saddened that these matters were already aggravating his desires when with her.