Chapter 320: I’m not asking you to forgive him right away
I know it’s going to be difficult. For someone like Min-Cheol who has kept hate in his heart for over three years towards one person, and the relationship was in shambles, it would be difficult to make peace and let bygones be bygones.
But I was ready to set the stage for all of that.
They say, one who craves peace must first go to war. And in that war, you have to win if not peace will never reign.
So, I’ll start this war on their behalf, and they shall fight with their hearts and minds to overcome this long-time hate.
"Would you like to listen now?" I asked Min-Cheol. "The reason Seo-Jun did that to your maid."
"But... How did you even know something like this was going on?" He asked, raising his head to look in my eyes and I chuckled.
"With the abnormal hostility you have towards him, I had a hunch that he did something to you in the past so I asked him. I asked what he did and why he did it.*
"And he just told you?" Min-Cheol asked, surprised and confused at the same time.
"Not right away. He claimed it didn’t matter and that it was better if you kept hating him. Having someone to hate would help prevent an unnecessary outburst from you, is what he said." I said and though he didn’t exactly say that, he did mean it with his roundabout way of speaking.
"So, he refused to explain because he wanted me to hate him?" He asked, "Is he crazy?"
"Apparently, yes." I nodded. No arguing there.
"Is that one of his stupid fetishes? Feeling good knowing someone hates you to the gut."
Well, it wasn’t a fetish but how else was I going to explain it? So, I shifted, pretending I knew nothing about that. But it’s not completely a pretense since I honestly don’t know, you know.
"Then tell me," Min-Cheol said.
It looked like he was ready to listen now.
"Why exactly did he do that?"
And so, I told Min-Cheol about how his maid went to Seo-Jun claiming to be scared. And though Seo-Jun had no obligation to help, he thought it might be dangerous to leave someone like her next to him.
Out of her desperation to get out of there, she might even attempt to poison her master and that was dangerous, so he just went ahead and did what she wanted but he did it instead the cruelest way to not only teach her a lesson for thinking badly about her master, but to make sure he, Min-Cheol, lost interest completely.
And it worked out.
Though the outcome is as it is today.
Min-Cheol’s hatred.
"You might not want to believe it but it’s the truth. If you know Seo-Jun well, you’ll know that he’s a fan of making fun out of everything he does, even when helping out. And his pattern of fun always includes sex. That’s...his defense mechanism."
Min-Cheol stayed silent with his head bowed.
His feet were touching the floor and his hands were joined together, his arms resting on his knees as he thought intensively about what I just said.
"I’m not asking you to forgive him right away," I said to him. "I’m not asking you to see him as a saint either."
"Then what do you want me to do?"
"Let go of the hatred in your heart," I said. "Hate clouds judgment, and because of that, you might end up missing out on what’s right in front of you."
Min-Cheol went silent again, his breathing was heavy enough for me to hear from where I was seated. Was he okay?
I hoped he wouldn’t beat himself too much for this.
"Hyung, I... I’m honestly confused." He said. "Just why didn’t he tell me from the start and allow me to entertain this hate?"
"At that time, you probably wouldn’t have listened to whatever he had to say," I said. "You might’ve seemed ready to listen just because you wanted to know why he was doing that, but being ready to listen doesn’t mean you’re ready to believe. It would seem like an excuse because you watched him enjoy whatever he was doing. He held no remorse either. Nothing would’ve worked no matter what he said. And he probably knew that as well so he just shrugged it off."
Min-Cheol gripped his hands tight, wondering if he was really the problem here.
Sweat dripped down the corner of his face and he nodded.
"Alright, I get it." He said and then stood up. "Hyung, I’ve heard what you have to say and I feel it makes sense as well. My hatred needs to die at one point too. But then... I wonder."
"What is it?"
"I’ve always had someone to hate. If I no longer hate that guy, who can I hate?"
Wow, what a peculiar question. Who can he hate, huh?
"Does it feel good hating someone?" I asked.
"No, it doesn’t. It stirs my insides like my guts are being squeezed and my mood gets ruined whenever I lock eyes with them."
"That’s your answer," I said. "If it doesn’t feel good, then why keep up the practice. Instead of having an obsession with hate, why not stir that obsession into a different direction?"
Ah, wait a minute. I didn’t just advise that, did I? The opposite of hate was clearly love. And if he was going to stir his obsession away from hate and take it to love, didn’t that mean I was going to be ’the one’?
I was slowly getting anxious. As if his obsession with me all this while wasn’t enough.
And then, my anxiety grew even more when I saw the smile on his lips.
"I got it, Hyung." He said and bent his back so his face could meet mine since I was still sitting on the bed and I gulped, feeling I had dug myself yet another grave. "Then, goodnight." He kissed the top of my head and then walked away.
He smiled, waved, and then shut the door.
Once he was gone, my face flushed red.
Why did it flush? I have no idea but it had something to do with that strange and flowery atmosphere around Min-Cheol as he left.
I touched my forehead and then lay my back on the bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to my beating heart.
"I hope this settles it." I mumbled and then sat up.
Next up on my agenda, Jin-Yeok.
But let’s hurry and take a bath before then.