Chapter 314: I’ll take you up on that offer
Some would ask if Seo-Jun started to regret towards the end because he couldn’t exactly break Jo-Pil into submission, no matter how hard he tried, and felt he was different... Special.
I’m speaking as a reader right now.
We all began to suspect that the author was moving with a deliberate act to make Jo-Pil develop some sort of Stockholm syndrome, and we were starting to feel displeased, but luckily, Jo-Pil did not even think about that.
Only hatred stuck to his heart concerning Seo-Jun.
And while it was apparent that he had begun to develop feelings, he could never fully love the men who did this to him.
Even if he had begun to develop a soft heart towards their caring sides, he swore he would not be deceived. He swore he would not fall into an oblivious void just because they showed him a little bit of kindness.
He wasn’t dumb.
He knew that if he left that hospital with them on that day, he would end up forgiving the harsh and horrible treatment they had meted out to him after he came into their lives.
He didn’t want to live a fool for the rest of his life and definitely didn’t want to be subject to yet another form of slavery.
Slavery to love.
So, he decided to take his revenge most cruelly. He decided to end it with his heart and let the Alphas who had come to love him live in sorrow, loneliness, and regret for the rest of their lives.
Seo-Jun, who locked himself away, starving himself of sex and work, wondered as he used to, to no one’s knowledge, if things would’ve been different if he were a normal person.
If he hadn’t been corrupted at a young age and hadn’t developed such a sadistic sexual tendency, thus growing up as a villain, would things be different?
If he had been able to see Jo-Pil for real from the start, he would have loved him wholeheartedly.
It was in the glossary. A brief summary of the feelings the Alphas experienced after Jo-Pil’s demise.
And just as Jo-Pil wanted... Just as I had wanted... They all suffered from loneliness and depression, living the rest of their lives with voids in their hearts.
But black voids that swallowed up their very reason to live.
"What’s the matter?" Seo-Jun asked, feeling my body tremble but I shook my head and bit my bottom lip.
It took a lot out of me to recall all of that.
Maybe, in this romantic setting, it wasn’t such a good idea to remember the ’past’.
"I’m fine," I said and curled up a little smile. "It must be the cold. The weather is quite chilly at night."
Seo-Jun stared at me, not knowing if to press on further or just let me be.
He hugged me, choosing the latter, and rubbed my neck with his hand.
"Then let me share some body heat with you." He mumbled. "It wouldn’t do either of us any good if you catch a cold."
"Yeah," I gripped his coat, my hands slightly trembling, but the harder I gripped, the more I was able to calm myself. "It wouldn’t."
Seo-Jun definitely caught on to something, but since I wasn’t planning to talk about it, he decided to pretend he didn’t know. But he did give me reassurance,
"If there’s anything bothering you, I’ll do my best to put you at ease." He said, and my eyes trembled a bit.
I closed them and nodded.
"I’ll take you up on that offer." I laughed softly.
But would he know?
That... the reason I was trembling had very much everything to do with him?
My master who treated me as nothing but the slave I was, a hole he could use and dump aside whenever he wanted, a breeding machine.
He tried out all sorts of bondage and kinky stuff with me, discovering past the limit he thought he knew.
I was like an experimental piece for him.
He was the worst among my masters and that was why my hatred towards him was far greater than the rest.
Well, I’m thankful.
Thankful that all it took to calm my anger was a few punches to the face and seriously bruised knuckles, haha.
It sounds too little, right? But what if I said that most of the grievance I felt from my last life vanished the moment my soul was reincarnated and what I felt at the moment I met Seo-Jun was nothing but a... What do they call it? Defense mechanism.
Maybe not so, but my mind, heart, body, and soul quickly registered him as my enemy the moment I laid eyes on him, and that was why I went so far.
After that, it was gone.
That long-lasting hatred I never knew could disappear.
But I still didn’t trust him though, as we all know, haha. I was deliberately biased.
Well, let’s not go to that.
The main thing to look at now is how much different he is compared to the original plot.
He wasn’t tying me to beds, strangling me till I passed out, stuffing beads in my ass with vibrators, and wounding my insides, whipping me till I bled, and stuff like that.
Just thinking about it makes my heart ache and my eyes furrow.
How was I even able to live in that hell without committing suicide?
Oh, right. I did commit suicide multiple times but there was always someone on standby watching me.
Even the floor of my window had a huge trampoline to tell you how far they went to make sure I didn’t take my own life.
Anyway, I still stand by the fact that people don’t change.
Humans aren’t magicians who flick their wrist, say a magic word, and then change the way they think, the way they act, and how they perceive the world.
But while humans can’t change, they seem incapable of it, they can evolve.
They work on themselves and try to maybe see a bigger picture.
They grow.
"Then, let’s start heading to the mansion," Seo-Jun said, holding my hand as he led me forward.
...And this man is an example of someone who decided it was time to grow up.