Chapter 185: Remnants
• ELOISE •
I was dressed in a flowing red dress with an elegant design, and long, wide sleeves that draped to the floor. My hair was let down, and the soft wind from the window made it swirl.
It hadn’t stopped raining, the weather was a mess, and the entire castle was vacant and cold.
My shoes echoed against the polished floor as I wandered alone. I was a wreck; the aftermath of feeling Damon’s last moments still crushed me. It felt like I was drowning, and I wanted nothing more than to be freed of it.
The phantom mark was no more, but the remnants lingered. I couldn’t wait for it to extinguish completely, for I didn’t want to be tied to it.
Drevon stayed by my side the entire night, but neither of us said a word, and when I woke up, I found him gone. I thought about going to him, but I felt that wasn’t a wise decision.
I stopped in front of a door, knocking and when I heard no response, I pushed against it and walked into the vast, colorful room.
The drapes sheathed the bed, but I could tell someone was inside.
I neared the bed and opened the drapes, sitting. My eyes slowly moved to Diana, who had her back to me.
"Are you okay?" I asked gently.
"Yes, why should I not be?" she questioned, sounding irritated. "The weather is not favourable. It tempts you to lie in bed and be lazy. Even royals should have a break."
"Yes," I nodded. "We deserve a break, too." I took off my shoes and put my feet on the bed, pulling my knees to my chest.
"What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you. Thought I should stay a while, you need the company."
"It’s a perfect weather. You should be cuddling Drevon or something."
"When I woke up. Drevon was gone. I..." I gulped. "I spent the entire night crying."
"Pathetic. Why should you cry for that monster?"
"I felt him until the last beat through the phantom mark, and I couldn’t help it."
That is what I told myself, that is what I’ve been telling myself the entire time. Saying it out loud made me realize that maybe it wasn’t the remnants of the mark fading away that got me like this.
I didn’t like it.
"You cried for him, that’s good. At least someone will mourn him," Diana said.
"Does that make me foolish? Mourning the man who tried to ruin my marriage and almost killed me for his own selfish desires. Mourning a nightmare."
"..."
"I hurt Drevon by doing this."
"Fool," Diana murmured. "You’re clever, whereas you do the most foolish things sometimes."
"How are you?"
"You already asked that question."
"I know, and I want you to be honest with me this time."
Minutes of silence passed before she replied, voice heavy and shaky. "I went to see him during his confinement. When you were unconscious, I was angry, so I went to torment him with guilt. When I got there and saw his state, I didn’t know what to make of it."
She went quiet for a while before she continued. "No matter how much I yelled and cursed, he didn’t say a word to me. I told myself, what’s the point of going to him? He was just a stranger listening to another stranger speak."
"Diana..." I said with sad eyes.
"The water won’t stop coming out of my eyes. I woke up like this. I don’t understand, why does it keep spilling?"
I lay next to her and pulled her close to me, hugging her from behind.
"It’s okay to mourn him, I did. Let’s both be miserable."
"Miserable," she scorned. "That’s one way to put it. A family should mourn a lost relative, but here we are feeling sick with ourselves for doing so. Such a wonderful family we are."
~•~
I spent the entire day with Diana until she fell asleep. I tucked her into the covers because she was cold. I also ordered her handmaid to prepare something for her to eat when she wakes up.
I walked the corridors until I found myself in front of Drevon’s study. I wanted nothing more than to walk through the door, but my body didn’t heed my wishes.
With a heavy heart, I turned away.
I found myself at the Moonhall, following the path like I was called there, maybe I was. I didn’t feel the rain on me, nor the cold. I have been numb the entire time on the surface, but my inside was something else, a revolting emotions that ate me alive.
The doors opened when I neared, and I stepped through, soaked to the bone. There was a lone figure at the end, and it was that blind old woman.
I strode to her and sat on the platform. "You said my destiny is tied to Damon’s," I began, my voice resonating. "Was this his destiny?"
"His destiny was intertwined with yours, not by the goddess but by choice."
"His choice led him to his own demise."
"What does your heart tell you, Luna?" she asked.
I smiled. "It tells me that I’m free from a burden that wasn’t mine."
"That burden wouldn’t have been yours if he hadn’t forced it upon you."
"Damon was a nightmare," I uttered. "But having his mark made me realize he was caged in his own mind. He needed someone to pull him out of the darkness. His loneliness was unlike anything I have ever felt."
I clenched my chest, still drowning from that feeling. It was the same as mine when I was in Beloria.
"Did he find the light?" I asked because I had found mine, and I hoped he did.
"Maybe he did."
I got some closure hearing that. No one deserves to have an ending like he did. He was a victim of absent love, and I understood him more than anyone could.