Chapter 198: Chapter 197: Is it good to have me to hold?
Zhao Meimei really doesn’t believe that Xu Xu likes her.
Since childhood, Xu Xu has obediently and honestly followed her, even more diligently than Da Bao, acting as her little sidekick. Even now, as they’ve grown up, in Zhao Meimei’s eyes, Xu Xu is like her blood brother, except they share no actual familial ties.
Being a brother and being a lover are two different things. Zhao Meimei’s lover is Shi Yang, while Xu Xu can only be a brother.
Thus, Zhao Meimei doesn’t take Zhang Zhao’s words seriously at all. She believes Zhang Zhao has been a bit off lately, and his recent words are just nonsense.
Nonsense that she hears and promptly forgets. Zhao Meimei remains unbothered, continuing with her studies and daily activities.
Xu Xu sits at his desk, his eyes fixed intently on the classroom door.
Wang Jiayue cautiously approaches and asks, "Xu Xu, are you okay?"
Xu Xu looks up at Wang Jiayue, frowning, "What’s wrong?"
Wang Jiayue notices something inscrutable in Xu Xu’s dark, ink-like eyes, causing a sudden tightness in her chest. The words she wanted to say get stuck in her throat, leaving her unable to speak. Finally, she just shakes her head and awkwardly keeps quiet.
Just before the class bell rings, Zhao Meimei and Zhang Zhao return, entering one after the other, looking as usual.
Without glancing at him, Zhao Meimei returns to her seat and starts writing something, while Zhang Zhao similarly doesn’t look his way.
Xu Xu’s feelings instantly become complicated. He is not someone who enjoys revealing his heart in relationships; in some ways, he’s rather solitary. His interactions with others are mostly superficial, but he genuinely opened his heart to Zhao Meimei, and later gave a tiny part of it to Wang Jiayue.
It’s precisely because of this that he can always sensitively detect even the slightest changes in Zhao Meimei. He knows Zhao Meimei and Shi Yang are probably dating now and understands that Zhao Meimei genuinely likes Shi Yang, liking him since childhood, just as he likes Zhao Meimei.
Xu Xu slowly adjusts his posture, resting his arms on the desk.
He feels deeply conflicted, on one hand deeply admiring Zhao Meimei while lacking the courage to express his feelings to her.
Often, he actually feels content with the current state, occupying the position of Zhao Meimei’s best friend, accompanying her openly every day, secretly liking her, and legitimately caring for her.
But now suddenly Zhang Zhao has appeared.
Zhang Zhao hints multiple times that the secret of his crush on Zhao Meimei has been discovered. Zhang Zhao’s attitude is provocative and mocking, yet besides hinting, he hasn’t done anything else.
What’s Zhang Zhao really trying to do?
Xu Xu once mistakenly thought Zhang Zhao liked Zhao Meimei too, but later he overturned that belief himself, because the way Zhang Zhao looks at Zhao Meimei is too clear and pure; it’s not the look of someone in love.
Zhang Zhao doesn’t like Zhao Meimei, yet he taunts and provokes Xu Xu repeatedly.
What’s Zhang Zhao’s plan?
Xu Xu feels a deep sense of helplessness, which makes him feel on edge, unable to calm down.
If he could calm down, if he could avoid letting this matter torment him so much, he would never make the current decision if he had even a shred of rationality.
He’s decided to fight fire with fire; he can’t accept being toyed with by Zhang Zhao’s antics.
Zhao Meimei is currently in the throes of love. Besides studying, her mind is completely occupied by Shi Yang, until she suddenly receives a phone call from Shi Yang at noon.
Shi Yang has to go to the provincial city for a business trip to inspect a project, leaving this afternoon.
When Zhao Meimei hears the news, her mind instantly becomes blank and confused.
Zhao Meimei fiddles with her school uniform’s zipper, asking, "When will you return?"
Shi Yang says, "Probably in a week. Meimei, it’s inconvenient for you to commute to school, so maybe you should just have your parents come over and stay with you for a few days?"
Zhao Meimei pouts slightly, knowing she can’t stop him. She can’t interfere with Shi Yang’s work.
Zhao Meimei sighs, "I’ll definitely miss you a lot."
Shi Yang deliberately teases, "Why not sleep in my room tonight?"
Zhao Meimei is taken aback, "Why?"
Shi Yang chuckles, "Don’t you like the smell of me? Go smell it on my bed."
Zhao Meimei immediately laughs, "Brother, are you asking me to remember you through your things? Then from today, I’ll swap our blankets and sleep holding your blanket every night."
Shi Yang laughs, "Is it the same as holding me? Is a blanket better to hold than me? You’ve lived with me for so long and never said you’ve held me."
Zhao Meimei quickly replies, "I’ll hold you when you return. Brother, I really can’t bear to be apart from you. Please don’t leave me anymore in the future, okay?"
Shi Yang’s voice is gentle, soothing, "Okay, after you finish your exams, if I go on a business trip again, I’ll definitely take you with me."
Zhao Meimei murmurs in agreement, biting her lips hard to suppress her complaints, before reminding him, "Travel safely and remember to call me at night."
Shi Yang promises, teasing her with a few more words before hanging up.
Zhao Meimei puts her phone away and lies on the desk. The thought of going home without seeing Shi Yang makes her feel incredibly wronged. When they didn’t live together, sometimes they couldn’t see each other for a month, but it didn’t feel unbearable at the time. Now, it suddenly feels different. As soon as she thinks of Shi Yang leaving for a week, Zhao Meimei feels her heart empty out. She buries her face in her arms, rubbing hard twice, and when she lifts her head, her eyes are red.
That entire afternoon, Zhao Meimei is in a low mood and daze, failing to notice that Robber Hao suddenly calls Zhang Zhao out during the first class in the afternoon, and subsequently, Xu Xu asks for permission to go to the restroom but doesn’t return for the rest of the class.
After the evening’s extra classes, Zhao Meimei returns home with her dad. Seeing her mom busy in the kitchen immediately alleviates much of her overwhelming longing for Shi Yang. She cheerfully reports her daily life and happenings at school, and the three of them enjoy a warm time together.
When Shi Yang calls, Zhao Meimei is lying on her desk copying notes. To not waste time, she turns on the speakerphone and alternates between chatting with Shi Yang and doing her homework.
Under the light, slightly turned and raising her voice, her actions suddenly overlap with Shi Yang’s from years ago when attending university.
The same moods and feelings, yet with a different person, nothing changes.