Chapter 396: What to accept
She would leave, Persephone had said.
And go where? Then again, perhaps that was it. That was where the feeling of being less than might have originated from.
From the fear that her word mattered less in our conversations? Or was it simply because she was human like his mother suggested?
It could have been all of those things combined as they did not seem mutually exclusive.
But whatever the case might have been, Silas was once again left with a lump in his throat about how to address the issue with her.
He hoped that by then, Arabella knew he meant no harm and that everything he said and did was in their, mostly her, best interest.
There was this side of him that fought every other fiber in his being, refusing to cave or accept any outside input or change, egging him on to believe there was no reason for him to even think that he was in the wrong.
In the end, it was true, Arabella could not protect herself on her own, could she?
Even she was well aware of that! The young woman came to his family seeking safety after all, did she not?
Not to mention that being her, and having led the life that she did, it made her more susceptible to deception and tretchery.
The walls that Reubon had put around her sure were a prison, but they also provided shelter from the grime and hurt that ran the world.
It served her about as well as it put her at a disadvantage.
The sound of splashing water traveled to his ears from beyond the doors, informing him of her precise whereabouts in the room.
Silas made his way inside, then through the curtains and then straight to the bathroom where Arabella sat stewing in the tub among the soap bubbles.
Standing before her like that, beholding her frail, naked shoulders and gathered hair... Every word he had wished to utter escaped him. Especially seeing the curious look on her face.
Those round, glistening eyes that met his expectantly.
"I didn’t mean to upset you,"
In the end, that was all that came out of him.
"I know," she murmured, nodding without breaking eye contact.
The vampire waited, and waited for more to come, but nothing did. Instead, her attention went back to the bubble bath her body was dipped in.
His stomach did funny gymnastics. The kind it never engaged in before. Well, it was either that or he had simply never cared to notice it.
"There are ways to protect the boy and his family while also keeping our own safe," Silas spoke in the calmest, steadiest of voices. Only he knew that those words actually escaped him instead of being carefully planned.
Arabella instantly perked up, her spine fully erect and eyes wide as saucers, "Is there? I mean, are you sure? Especially since the crown prince will be attending the auction. It might be too much of a risk,"
"I thought you wanted to help the boy,"
"I want to help Erik! Of course I do, but you were also right. I can’t expect you to risk your name flippantly, at every turn for complete strangers,"
"My name is now yours. Anything that affects me will therefore affect you as well," he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the sink behind him. When she said nothing, he added, "Or do you see yourself as a separate entity? Perhaps... You do not wish to be grouped with me in the same line," he half asked.
At those words, her eyes snapped back from the water and onto him, a fervent glare dominating her features.
Lord help him! Silas had inherited a lot from his parents, but out of the two he had to be... Blessed with his father’s skills with words instead of his mother’s. Basically, no talent whatsoever.
Emeric had somehow managed to turn the great, graceful Persephone feral with his lack of tact alone at so many occasions.
Though perhaps Arabella turning feral wouldn’t have been such a bad thing. Because as insane as it may have sounded, her losing her temper with him would, at the very least, have meant she wasn’t afraid of speaking her mind and expressing her true feelings in front of him.
Although, he also wondered, if at that moment, his feet ran out of the door to seek guidance from his mother, just how ridiculous and humiliating it would be.
Once again, he waited and waited, but nothing happened. None of the rage he expected ever spilled out of her.
All of that tension that riddled her muscles simply mellowed and evaporated.
Arabella’s shoulders slumped as she sank deeper into the tub right up until her upper lips went under water.
"Are you still afraid?" when nothing else came to mind, that question slipped though.
"I will always be afraid," she grumbled after raising her mouth above water.
A rush of stings rippled across the chest, prompting him to clarify, hoping against all hope that she misunderstood him, "I meant are you still afraid of me?"
"No, I am conscious that you don’t wish to hurt me or anyone for that matter," she stated in the flattest of tones.
"But? Because I know there is a but after such sentence," his arms tightened in their position, further perturbing the flow of air through his lungs.
In response, the young woman first inhaled deeply, "Would you... Give me some time please?" the pleading look on her hit him harder than the words that came along, "I don’t even know if I am being overdramatic with how I am feeling right now. And if I don’t even know that what I am feeling is right or wrong, then I can’t even begin to express it and pick the right words for it," her head shook slowly from left to right, "I need some time to get used to the new order around me and accept the things that I have to accept,"
"Fair enough," he nodded before pushing his weight off the sink and stepping towards her.
Silas knelt down by the tub to meet her eyes at their level, "I won’t press, but I have to know what sort of things you mean when you speak of what you need to accept,"
Her mouth opened and closed, then opened and closed again... Nothing ever came. Not even a whisper.