Chapter 79: Chapter 79: Do You... Want Me?
After a long time of lingering intimacy, Lu Chengfeng almost lost control, but was eventually pushed away by Luo Suyi.
As he walked to the door of Qiutong’s room, he subconsciously stopped, adjusted his clothes, and then knocked on the door.
"Who is it?" Die’Er’s crisp voice came from inside the room, and before she finished speaking, the door had already opened a crack, revealing a little head with a double-looped fairy bun.
Seeing it was Lu Chengfeng, her face immediately brightened with joy, but she quickly put on a mock stern expression and huffed, "You finally remembered to come, huh?"
She spoke in a lowered voice, fearing that Qiutong inside the room might discover them.
"Seems like you don’t welcome me, Die’Er. I might as well leave then." Lu Chengfeng teased the little lass, pretending to turn and leave.
Die’Er immediately panicked, "I’m not unwelcoming you. You mustn’t leave."
Their conversation at the door disturbed Qiutong, who was always insightful. Even though she hadn’t heard what was said, she guessed a bit and spoke with a voice as clear and nimble as a mountain spring, "Die’Er, let the master in!"
"Yes, madam." Die’Er turned back and answered, muttering, "How did madam know it was you, it’s so strange."
"If you say nice things to me next time, I’ll tell you how she knew." Lu Chengfeng said with a smile as he walked into the room.
"You can read madam’s mind? I don’t believe it!" Die’Er said with her small face upturned, "My madam is as smart as ice and snow, a first-rate talented woman, she definitely knows everything."
Lu Chengfeng couldn’t help but shake his head and smile at her proud little demeanor. After entering, bypassing the screen, he walked into the inner boudoir and saw Qiutong sitting at the desk by the window doing embroidery.
Today, her hair was coiled up, with a Step Shaking of emerald glass and dangling golden butterfly inserted slantwise. She wore a red jacket embroidered with gold clouds and a multi-colored pleated skirt adorned with lotus flowers below.
Her head was slightly bowed, revealing a small section of her fair neck. She was concentrating intently on the needlework in her hands, not even looking up as Lu Chengfeng entered the room.
"Looks like Little Lady Qiutong is mad at me, ah, you didn’t even glance at me when I entered." Lu Chengfeng deliberately sighed and sat down beside Qiutong at the desk.
Qiutong took out scissors to cut off the thread in her hand, picked up the belt she had made, then raised her head slightly, looking at Lu Chengfeng and said, "I’m not as petty as you think."
"I’ve had some leisure time these days, so I took the time to make you a belt. Come try it on and see if it fits."
Lu Chengfeng couldn’t help but his eyes lit up at that, "Made for me? You’re so thoughtful."
He stood up directly and raised his arms, "Since it’s a gift for me, personally help me put it on and see if it fits."
He was deliberately teasing, thinking that a refined and cool woman like Qiutong certainly wouldn’t agree.
But unexpectedly, she slowly stood up, walked behind him, stretched out her arms, and wound the belt around his waist.
Her arms circled his waist, her body pressed directly against his, the warmth of her chest on his back, that soft sensation immediately made his heart race.
Qiutong’s jade hands were somewhat unfamiliar, and coupled with not being able to see clearly from behind, it took her a while to fasten the copper beast clasp, and perhaps due to the heat from the room’s brazier, a thin layer of sweat had already appeared on her body.
Lu Chengfeng was so tightly pressed against her that he could clearly smell the daughter-like fragrance resembling bamboo and wood. He couldn’t hold back any longer, and directly grabbed the woman’s jade hands.
With a slight force, he pulled Qiutong’s body completely against his, making her jade hands tightly embrace his waist.
"Good madam, have you missed me these days?"
Qiutong did not struggle, resting her face sideways against the man’s strong and upright back, she sighed slightly: "It was Suyi who asked you to come find me, wasn’t it?"
Lu Chengfeng’s body momentarily stiffened slightly, thoughts flashing quickly in his mind, but before he could think of an excuse, Qiutong continued, "She’s a pure and kind woman, living simply. Honestly, I envy her a lot."
"If my first man had been you, if I could be your wife, how happy I would be."
"I know I am a used woman, men won’t say it, but they ultimately mind in their hearts."
Lu Chengfeng, hearing the faint sadness in her tone, said, "Qiutong, don’t overthink it, I don’t look down on you..."
Qiutong proactively tightened her arms, holding the man’s waist, "You don’t need to explain, I understand, it’s not that you don’t want me, you just don’t care that much."
"You haven’t been to my room these days, I know what you mean, you are afraid that coming to me will make her sad, right?"
"Compared to her, I’m just a dispensable toy—a novelty to occasionally visit and sample."
Her words were blunt, yet they pierced directly into Lu Chengfeng’s heart because that was exactly what he thought. He opened his mouth but was at a loss for words.
"I told myself not to compete or fight, I would be content to find a place to settle down and live a quiet life."
"But people are always afraid of comparisons!"
Qiutong’s tone was indescribably forlorn, "Every day I watch Luo Suyi standing at the door waiting for you, see the smile in her eyes and on her face when you return, hear the noises you make at night."
"Over time, I found myself becoming restless and upset..."
She rubbed her face against the man’s back, speaking with a faint air, "That day you two tossed about half the night, it kept me awake, I got up in irritation to drink water, but accidentally broke a teacup and cut my hand."
"That slight sting brought me back to my senses, and I realized, I... was jealous."
Lu Chengfeng, upon hearing this, found himself at a loss for words, simply tightened his grip on her hand, and unconsciously intertwined their fingers, pressing them closely together.
"In the past, whether in the brothel or when Li Guan took me back to the mountain, it was always others envying me, being jealous of me. I looked better than them and was proficient in every art."
"Even..." She paused slightly, bit her lip, her fair, delicate face already a shade of crimson, "Even my skills in bed were better learned than others."
"Why then should I be despised here? Why should I be neglected by you? What makes me not as good as her?"
"But the more I thought about it, the more humiliating it felt. Just being a tainted woman was enough, let alone back then, deciding to be with you, I had ulterior motives, hoping to use your status to secure a stable life."
"I have a poor background, am not of clean body, and have impure thoughts, so it’s perfectly normal for you to neglect me."
Lu Chengfeng was silent, he could clearly feel a large area of his back getting wet, stained with the woman’s tears.
"But... in the end, I still can’t bear it..."
"At night, I light a candle, look at my face in the mirror, and think that in a few years, I will gradually start to have wrinkles."
"Am I going to live a cold and bleak life forever?!"
Qiutong sighed, holding Lu Chengfeng tightly as if afraid he would escape, "I thought it over all night, finally understood, that since I’ve married you, I am destined to be your woman for life."
"I don’t want to escape anymore, nor do I want any backup plan. I want to follow you, stay with you for the rest of my life."
"So, I made you this belt because... I want to be closely wound around you for a lifetime."
"Do you... want me?"