Chapter 183 Tan Zheng, You Can't Fucking Die
Tan Zheng saw Xi Jinjiang’s movement. His hands remained spread open, his expression unchanged. He made no move to defend himself. The moment Xi Jinjiang pushed forward violently, seeing the utter lack of emotion in Tan Zheng's eyes, he suddenly became lucid. As Tan Zheng lost his balance and was about to fall, Xi Jinjiang’s hands shot out and grabbed Tan Zheng's clothes. But his legs were broken, the snow was slippery, and his wheelchair was unstable. He couldn’t exert any force. Tan Zheng’s hands remained spread open, making no attempt to save himself. Xi Jinjiang’s eyes widened fiercely, his neck turning red, veins bulging.
“Grab me, quickly.”
“If you die, what am I supposed to do?”
“Aren’t you supposed to keep hating me?”
“Tan Zheng, you can’t fucking die.”
“Grab me, damn it!”
Tan Zheng, however, curved his lips, still making no move. He watched as Xi Jinjiang’s eyes once again held his own and felt a wave of melancholy. The pain of these past five years seemed to have been answered by heaven at this moment. No one knew how he felt, watching his brother suffer an accident during a race. He had asked himself countless times why he had been so careless, why he had ingested something containing stimulants before the race. If he had been more careful, if he had been the one competing, would things not have turned out this way? Xi Jinjiang had retired perfectly, achieved fame, married the woman he loved, and had a perfect family. But there were no ifs. For five years, he had been like a walking corpse, unwilling to touch racing again, without passion, without enthusiasm. Life had seemed as bland as plain water. If it weren’t for Xi Jinjiang, if he hadn’t wanted Xi Jinjiang to live well, he wouldn’t even know how he would have gotten through these five years. Now, Xi Jinjiang’s eyes finally held him again. Tan Zheng’s eyebrows twitched slightly, long eyelashes adorned with snowflakes. He recalled the days of training with Xi Jinjiang, the thrill of racing at full speed, and the initial reason he embarked on the path of racing—to compete with Xi Jinjiang. Love and depth. In a significant way, Xi Jinjiang was his guide to starting his racing career, his best companion, and his best rival. It was more than what could be described as just a brother. Tan Zheng smiled, watching Xi Jinjiang roar at him, seeing the fear and panic in his eyes. The burden of the past five years seemed to have lightened considerably. His thoughts drifted, and a multitude of images flooded Tan Zheng's mind: racing, Xi Jinjiang, youthful recklessness. He had completely forgotten his current predicament. He couldn’t hear the outside world, couldn’t hear Xi Jinjiang’s shouts. The world outside was a blank canvas, and his ears were silent. Xi Jinjiang was barely holding onto Tan Zheng. Immense fear welled up in his heart. No, Tan Zheng couldn’t die. How could he let Tan Zheng die? How could he push his own brother to his death?
“Tan Zheng, wake up! Don’t you have a wife? Don’t you love your wife?”
“She even said on Weibo that you were pursuing her. How do you pursue a girl by giving her roses?”
“Nini, right? Her name is Nini. Are you worthy of Nini if you die?”
Hearing Song Ni’s name, Tan Zheng, whose mind had been wandering, was suddenly pulled back to reality. The silent images in his mind transformed into vivid scenes with sound and color.
“I think you look so damn handsome when you smoke.”
“I used to be the school bully!”
“Your muscles are so nice to pinch!”
“What are you dogs barking at? I’ll have a race with you.”
“Tan Zheng, do you believe me or not?”
“I just like the title of Mrs. Tan.”
“Kiss, kiss, my husband made me this loving soup!”
“Tan Zheng, are you jealous?”
“It hurts so much, it really hurts, can you blow on it for me?”
“Husband, you’re so good!”
“Tan Zheng, I’m not done with you!”
“Husband, I miss you so much I can’t sleep.”
“Tan Zheng, I really like snowy days. Let’s find a time to go see the snow together.”
“……”
Tan Zheng’s expression turned sharp, his gaze refocused. Just as Xi Jinjiang was about to lose his grip, Tan Zheng finally made a move. He grabbed the railing with his hands, hooked his legs, and used his core strength to effortlessly stand back up on the rooftop. Steadily and securely. He had Song Ni now. He couldn’t die. He still had to pursue his little girl, he still had to date his little girl, and he still had to take his little girl to see the snow. Tan Zheng lowered his head and looked at Xi Jinjiang, who had collapsed back to the ground from exhaustion.
“Why did you save me?”
Xi Jinjiang gasped for breath and said nothing, unwilling to look at Tan Zheng. Tan Zheng didn’t expect to get an answer from Xi Jinjiang. He just needed to see that Xi Jinjiang had this thought. At least, his actions over the past five years were not in vain.
“I still have Nini. I can’t die. What about you? For Yu Wei, have you forgotten your parents back home?”
Xi Jinjiang’s pupils contracted sharply. Tan Zheng’s hands, hanging by his legs, curled slightly.
“The elders have not had a good life these past five years.” Every New Year, he would deliberately visit the two elders. But the elders had heard from somewhere that the race was supposed to be him, believing he was the reason their son was harmed like this. So every time he visited, he was shut out. He didn’t care, so it didn’t matter. But they were Xi Jinjiang’s parents. He couldn’t ignore them. So for five years, during every New Year and festival, Tan Zheng would send things. He would also regularly inform the elders of Xi Jinjiang’s situation. “They wanted to see you, but I didn’t let them. I was afraid the elders couldn’t handle it.” “I originally planned to bring you back to the country once your condition stabilized, and then bring the elders over.”
Xi Jinjiang suddenly began to cry, covering his face with his hands, weeping heartbrokenly. Tan Zheng said no more. This was enough. He knew Xi Jinjiang was a filial son. When Xi Jinjiang’s new house was built back home, he had also gone to help for a few days. Xi Jinjiang’s parents were also very kind elders, treating him like their second son. However, that was in the past. After Tan Zheng sent Xi Jinjiang back to his ward, he returned to his room. Suppressing the urge to call Song Ni, he opened his phone's photo album, opened the album filled with Song Ni’s photos, and looked at them with utmost seriousness. From the newest to the oldest. There were photos of Song Ni in Iris, photos of Song Ni sleeping in his arms after their first time, photos of Song Ni intending to hit him, and photos of Song Ni while filming. At the very beginning of the album was a selfie he took with Song Ni outside the civil affairs bureau. It was casual, and the angle wasn’t great, but Tan Zheng felt that Song Ni looked the most beautiful no matter what. On that day, his little girl became his Mrs. Tan.
(End of this chapter)