The envelope clutched in her arms felt like a stone pressing against Shen Xue's chest.
It wasn't until the postman's green uniform was almost out of sight that she slowly came back to her senses.
"Mama, what is a letter?"
"And, where is Su Province?"
The little girl, clutching Shen Xue's leg and sucking her finger, tilted her head up, her big, watery eyes staring at her like a curious baby.
Hearing the child's words, Shen Xue took a deep breath, trying to calm her emotions, and stroked the little one's head.
Shen Xue slowly crouched down, hugging the child tightly, as if only by holding the little one could she feel a sliver of security.
Shen Xue had to admit that receiving this letter from Su Province had thrown her into a panic.
"Yanyan, a letter is a tool for people to communicate with distant relatives and friends."
"We write down what we want to say in a letter, and then through the comrade postman, we deliver it to the person we miss."
"Su Province is your father's hometown. I heard it's a very prosperous place."
Holding the little girl, Shen Xue's heart calmed down a bit.
Although she had been struggling with whether she should let go and allow Chen Yang to return to the city, not wanting him to ruin his bright future,
When she received this letter, possibly from Chen Yang's family, she found herself panicking.
Could she bear to leave him?
Without him, could she still support this family and raise their daughter well?
Shen Xue couldn't give a definite answer.
"Then, then is the letter from Grandpa and Grandma?"
"I see other kids have grandpas and grandmas, but I only have grandpa and grandma on my mom's side. Is Yanyan not good, that Grandpa and Grandma don't like Yanyan and don't come to see her?"
The little girl's eyes darted away, her small hands clasped in front of her, her fingers tapping each other. She was clearly nervous.
Despite her tiny size, she was smarter than most children.
The children who came to play yesterday admired her beautiful clothes and said they would ask their grandmas to make new ones for them.
But she had never met her paternal grandparents.
Looking at the little girl's hesitant demeanor, Shen Xue's heart felt as if it had been pierced.
Shen Xue wasn't sure what kind of people Chen Yang's parents were, but she could tell something from the fact that his parents hadn't attended their wedding.
They were probably unhappy with her, a country bumpkin.
Indeed, as a country woman, with no chance of ever eating the state's rations, how could she, in the eyes of Chen Yang's parents, be worthy of their son?
But, the child was still young. What had she done wrong? Why should she be treated like this!
"How could that be? Our Yanyan is so cute, how could Grandpa and Grandma not like her?"
"It's just that Su Province is too far away, Grandpa and Grandma can't come. Actually, Grandpa and Grandma love Yanyan very much. Maybe they're writing this letter because they miss you."
But even though her heart ached like being cut by a knife, Shen Xue forced back the tears.
She held the little girl tightly. Only the child could give her a trace of warmth now.
"Hmph, I don't want them to."
"I only want Papa and Mama, and my maternal grandparents."
As if sensing her mother's distress, the little girl tried hard to hug Shen Xue.
Alas, her arms were too short.
She could only hug her partially, but she still tried her best to hold Shen Xue in her small embrace.
She wanted to protect Mama!
Hearing the little one's words, Shen Xue couldn't hold back any longer. Tears immediately streamed down her cheeks.
She held the little girl, her body shaking with sobs. When she received this letter, she had been worried.
Had Chen Yang's parents found out about the return to the city and written to hurry Chen Yang back to Jinling!
Married educated youths, according to policy, could not return to the city. Shen Xue didn't believe Chen Yang's parents wouldn't know this. Did they also harbor the intention of making Chen Yang divorce her?
Shen Xue dared not think about it!
Should she open the letter in her hand?
Or should she simply throw it into the stove and burn it?
At that moment, countless thoughts flashed through Shen Xue's mind.
She realized she truly couldn't leave Chen Yang.
Without him, how could she live?
Shen Xue didn't know if what she was doing was selfish, but the thought of possibly losing Chen Yang made it difficult for her to even breathe.
"Mama, don't cry, Mama, don't cry."
"Yanyan will protect Mama."
Seeing Shen Xue suddenly burst into tears, the little girl frantically tried to wipe her tears with her chubby hands, but the more she wiped, the more tears flowed, making the little one almost cry herself.
After all, she was just a little child, what did she understand?
Protecting Mama was her instinct!
Looking at the tiny figure desperately trying to protect her, Shen Xue finally regained her composure.
She absolutely could not give up. If she gave up, what would happen to Yanyan?
Besides, she didn't even know what was written in the letter yet!
Even if Chen Yang's parents didn't like her, a country daughter-in-law, she believed in Chen Yang!
If it were before, she might not have been sure if Chen Yang would abandon her and the child and go back.
But now, she was absolutely certain that he would never leave them.
It was a woman's intuition!
She could feel that he cared about them even more than he cared about himself.
"Silly girl, Mama and you have Papa to protect us."
"No one can hurt Mama, and Mama will not allow anyone to hurt you."
Shen Xue wiped away her tears and hugged the little girl.
She could earn ten work points a day in the production team, just like a man. Whatever women in the city could do, Shen Xue could do too.
She was no worse than anyone else!
Shen Xue decided. She wouldn't open this letter, nor would she burn it. She would wait for Chen Yang to wake up and give it to him personally.
Shen Xue had her pride. If Chen Yang's parents truly disliked her and insisted on Chen Yang divorcing her, she wouldn't give up.
He was her man!
If Chen Yang genuinely agreed with his parents' idea, then she had been blind.
Since he wanted to return to the city and pursue his future, she would give him that. She would agree to a divorce, and she would only want their daughter.
Shen Xue hugged the little girl. At this moment, her heart was exceptionally calm.
The earlier panic was gone!
Her daughter was her greatest courage in this world.
For Yanyan, she would fear no difficulty.
Chen Yang had no idea what changes had occurred in Shen Xue's heart while he slept.
It wasn't until dark that the hunger in his stomach finally woke him up.
He shook his slightly dizzy head, scooped a ladle of cold water from the water缸, and without bothering if it would give him an upset stomach, he gulped it down.
In those days, everyone drank raw water like this; their stomachs were tough.
Having been drunk, he woke up thirsty and parched, not caring to boil water first; he just wanted to quench his thirst.
"You're awake. There's a letter for you, sent from Su Province."
"I don't know if it's asking you to return to Jinling."
As Chen Yang walked out of the house, Shen Xue handed him an envelope.
The woman had clearly been crying, her eyes swollen.
Chen Yang's heart sank.
Did his parents write something in the letter that made Shen Xue unhappy?